Stranger
Than Paradise Nick Ellis BLACK FADE
UP ON: OZ PARK--DAY A
man in his mid-twenties walks through Oz Park.
It is the beginning of spring in Chicago, so while the trees are blooming
it is still cold enough that he needs a jacket.
He wanders aimlessly, obviously deep in thought.
RAY (VO) There's this Bob
Dylan song called "Don't Think Twice, it's All Right."
In it is the line, "I gave her my heart, but she wanted my
soul." Times like this I
understand what he's talking about. DISSOLVE
TO: INT:
Therapist's apartment--DAY This
is a nice looking downtown apartment, small but well decorated and with a nice
view of the skyline. At first, the
living room is empty of people. We
see a couch, end tables bookending the couch, and a chair set to the side. As
Ray's narration continues, the following action occurs: SALLY
enters the frame from the left side--she is an attractive, stylishly dressed
woman of about 25, blond hair impeccably done.
She wears a light brown pantsuit. Sally
sits down on the left side of the couch. RAY
follows, inching past Sally's outstretched legs and seating himself on the right
side of the couch. Ray is also
about 25, tall and neatly groomed, but with
notably less style than Sally. Ray
is wearing jeans and a plain shirt. The
THERAPIST then enters the frame from the left, and sits in the chair on the
side. She is a woman in her mid
forties, with short brown hair in a professional cut.
She is also wearing a light colored pantsuit--in fact, to look closely,
she is a perfect version of Sally, twenty years from now.
RAY (VO) I had been dating a
girl named Sally who decided that after the relationship hit the six month mark
it was time to take me in for some service.
This was our first and only session.
THERAPIST Okay.
Sally, Ray, I'm going to jump right into it here, so I hope you're ready
to talk. Sally
nods her head confidently, while Ray stares ahead.
THERAPIST Great.
Well, then, I guess the best place to start would be why you're here.
Usually that's a very successful way of getting the couple to talk about
their problems, and begin relating to each other.
Ray?
SALLY That won't be
necessary. I can pinpoint the
problem pretty accurately. Ray's a
moron.
THERAPIST Uh huh.
SALLY I mean, there's
really just nothing going on here. Sally
thumps Ray's head. Ray keeps
staring, used to this kind of treatment.
SALLY If he didn't have the
other head, I don't think he'd get any thinking done. The
Therapist bursts out laughing hysterically, then calms down when she notices
that Ray is not laughing.
THERAPIST I'm sorry...that's
really funny. Still
no response from Ray.
THERAPIST Okay, let's try some
role reversal. CUT
TO: Med. shot of Ray and Sally on
the couch, Sally has a goofy expression on her face and is talking in a
satirically low voice.
SALLY I'm Ray,
I'm an idiot, don't ask me, duh... CUT
TO: Same shot, now Sally has a hand
puppet and she is making the puppet talk into Ray's ear.
Ray also has a puppet, but it lies dormant on one of the hands he has
folded in his lap. Sally is talking
in a funny, squeaky voice with her puppet.
SALLY I don't like you!
You stupid! Nyahh! CUT
TO: Same shot, only now Sally has a
big foam club and is hitting Ray over the head repeatedly and with great
enthusiasm, grunting with every strike to emphasize her effort.
Ray remains in the same stoic state he has maintained all along. CUT
TO: Same shot, now Ray is hooked up
to electrodes and Sally has the trigger device.
SALLY My birthday is April
fourteenth! Sally
hits the trigger, and Ray flinches painfully.
When the shock is over, however, he returns to his stone face.
SALLY I like roses for
Valentine's day! Sally
hits the trigger again, and Ray flinches.
SALLY You must hold me
after sex! Sally
hits the trigger, and Ray flinches. CUT
TO: C/U of a credit card reader
swiping across a credit card and receipt. CUT
TO: Med. shot of the Therapist,
Sally, and Ray getting ready to leave. The
therapist is making the receipt with the card reader, and Sally is standing next
to her. Ray stands behind Sally, his demeanor unchanged.
The Therapist hands the credit card to Sally, who passes it back to Ray.
SALLY Doctor, this was very
helpful for Ray. I feel we dealt
with a lot of Ray's issues that were just kind of hiding beneath the surface.
THERAPIST I'm glad.
Although there still seems to be a lot of problems with Ray.
I'd recommend you bring him in again for some more work. Sally
snaps her hand around and swipes the credit card away from Ray, handing it over
again to the Therapist, who snaps it back into the reader and runs the bar back
and forth over the card. DISSOLVE
TO: INT.
RAY'S CAR: DAY Sally
and Ray are in Ray's car, on the way back from the therapist.
Sally tries to light a cigarette with the car's lighter, but it doesn't
work. She throws it out the window
and reaches into Ray's coat pocket for a lighter.
What's important here is that the action is performed as if Ray was a
purse or a desk drawer. Sally
lights her cigarette and takes a deep drag.
SALLY God, that was great.
And I think those eighteen sessions I scheduled for next month are going
to be a big help for you. Actually,
maybe we should start seeing her every day.
It would probably fix you a lot quicker.
I wonder if I could get one of those foam clubs for myself.
And I should call her and find out where she got that electric shock
thing, maybe there's like some kind of home version... As
Sally talks, her voice fades out and Ray's narration comes in.
RAY (VO) A lot of people have
a lot of good things to say about therapy.
As for me... CUT
TO: C/U of Ray's foot slamming on
the brake CUT
TO: Med. Shot of Ray's car coming
to a sharp stop. CUT
TO: INT. Ray's car, Sally reacting
to the stop and turning to face Ray.
SALLY What the hell was
that? What do you think you're
doing? CUT
TO: C/U of Ray's face, he turns to
Sally and smiles. CUT
TO: Back of Ray's car just as it
pulls away, pull back to bring Sally into the frame, standing on the side of the
road.
SALLY You son of a bitch!
I'm trying to help you! You
need me!
RAY (VO) I'd have to say that
it helped make a pretty tough decision much easier. MUSIC:
HARD ON THE KNEES CREDITS Credits
are intercut with a montage of Ray clearing Sally's stuff out of his
apartment--pictures, stuffed animals, pantyhose off the shower curtain,
"How To Control Your Man" books DISSOLVE
TO: INT.
Ray's apartment. Ray's
apartment is a two bedroom, fairly large apartment in a two-flat building.
Ray is in the kitchen, talking on the phone and standing next to the
counter. He is looking at a pile of
papers.
RAY Yeah, I'd like to
report a stolen credit card. (pause)
Well, I've been holding for--hello? Ray
sighs and examines the invoices from the psychiatrist's office. SFX:
DOOR OPENING & CLOSING Ray
does not react to the door, and speaks while looking at his forms.
RAY Hey, Phil. PHIL
enters the kitchen. He is taller
and thinner than Ray, with dark hair and eyes that seem to be constantly wide
open. Phil walks right up to Ray and stands a few inches away,
pulling his hair away from his eyes with one hand and sticking his forehead
close to Ray's face while pointing to his eyebrows with the other.
PHIL I'm losing my eyebrow
hair. A whole clump of it came out
in the shower this morning, I found it on my hand after I just ran my fingers
across my eyebrow. See this right
here? That's a bald spot.
A freaking eyebrow bald spot. That's
it, man. It's over. See?
right there. See? Ray
stares calmly at Phil, then perks up at a voice on the line.
RAY Hello?
Yeah, I've got to report a stolen credit card.
No, please don't put me on-- Ray
slumps a little, obviously on hold again. In
resignation, he hangs up the phone. He
turns and faces Phil, who is still waiting for Ray to examine his eyebrows.
RAY You know, Phil, I've
got absolutely no expertise on eyebrow hair loss.
PHIL Right there, man.
See? You can't miss it. Phil
goes to the oven and tries to see his reflection in the glass door.
RAY I broke up with Sally
today.
PHIL That's terrific.
I saw it coming a mile away. You're
gonna be much happier now. Do they
make like, eyebrow Rogaine?
RAY Phil-- Phil
turns and faces Ray.
PHIL I'm a little upset
about this, Ray!
RAY Well, I'm upset about
breaking up with my girlfriend!
PHIL Your girlfriend.
You know, women come and go, but when you lose that eyebrow hair, man,
you're talking freak for life! Ray
stares at Phil for a moment, as if he can't believe he's for real.
Finally he closes his eyes and shakes his head.
RAY I'm not having this
conversation. Ray
walks toward the door and puts on his coat.
PHIL Fine.
Abandon me in my hour of need. Leave
me here, a hideous hairless jackal! Ray
walks out the door and slams it shut behind him. CUT
TO: EXT:
Tom & Liz's House--Day Just
as we hear Ray's door slamming shut, we cut to the door of Tom and Liz's house
opening. Revealed behind the door is Liz, Ray's sister in law and old
friend. She is Ray's age, with dark
brown hair cut conservatively. She
is attractive in a comfortable way, dressed in casual clothes.
LIZ Ray!
Come on in! Liz
opens the door wide to let Ray in, and he enters the house.
RAY Hey, Liz.
The
two walk into the house after Liz shuts the door behind Ray.
LIZ What brings you by?
RAY Oh, just going a
little stir crazy. Where's that bum
brother of mine?
LIZ He should be home in
a minute.
RAY Probably out drinking
again, spending your nest egg on prostitutes.
LIZ Uh huh.
RAY What'd have to go and
marry him for, Liz? You were like
one of the guys, and now you've got this permanent tattoo that reads 'woman.'
Ruined everything.
LIZ Don't blame me, you
introduced us.
RAY Well, I didn't think
you'd fall in love with him. The
guy's such a bozo...
LIZ Oh, stop it.
You love your brother.
RAY Ahhh.... Ray
looks around the house as if he's examining a kind of suburban hell.
RAY And
you can't tell me the sex is good. There's
no way my brother is good in bed. While
Ray is talking, Liz shoots him a sly look.
RAY Aw, man... Liz
laughs.
RAY This is a nightmare.
LIZ Okay, Ray.
What's bothering you?
RAY Oh, nothing.
I'm just...you know...I just...
LIZ You just broke up
with Sally. Ray
looks around as if to make sure there's no signs with his thoughts printed on
them.
RAY How did you know
that?
LIZ Because every time
you break up with a girlfriend, you come over here and yell at me for marrying
your brother.
RAY Really?
LIZ Like clockwork.
I'm getting pretty good at figuring you out, Costello.
I should charge you for therapy.
RAY Yeah, well, get in
line. SFX:
DOOR OPENING AND SLAMMING SHUT
TOM (off screen) I see my freeloading,
no-good pain in the ass little brother's bike outside, that can only mean one
thing!
RAY Don't come in yet,
we're still naked. Tom
enters the room. Tom is in his late
twenties, and is dressed in a suit. He
is more neatly groomed than Ray, but the family resemblance betrays a sort of
roughness about him. He drops a
briefcase on the floor and crosses over to where Liz is standing.
TOM Well, I don't hear
any hysterical laughing, so that can't be the case. Tom
grabs Liz by the waist and pulls her close.
TOM Hey, baby. Tom
plants a dramatic kiss on Liz's neck, hamming it up in front of his brother.
Ray sighs unhappily.
LIZ Hi. Tom
lets go of Liz and straightens up, looking at Ray and then back to Liz.
TOM So what's the squirt
doing here? Raiding the fridge?
RAY Liz and I were
talking about those penile implants you've been considering.
TOM No, no, honey, you've
got it all wrong. Those are a gift
for Ray.
LIZ Ray broke up with
Sally.
TOM About time.
We got any beer? Tom
walks out of the room toward the kitchen.
RAY This is why I talk to
you about these things.
LIZ Have a doughnut and
sit down.
RAY I don't want
a-- Liz
shoots Ray a stern look. Ray sighs
and grabs a doughnut off the counter, taking a large bite.
LIZ Good. Ray
moves to an easy chair and sits down, Liz sits across from him on the couch.
LIZ Let's have it.
RAY All right, here's the
thing. In the past few years, I've
had a bunch of relationships. Some
of them were good, but for the most part they just never really should have
happened in the first place.
LIZ I'll go along with
that.
RAY And I always figured
that it was because I was always drifting from job to job, living day to day,
and I was never in the frame of mind to have a long term thing.
But things have been going well for me--I've got a well paying job, my
own place--everything's stable, and I still couldn't make it work with Sally.
LIZ I'm going to go out
on a limb here and say that that one wasn't really your fault.
RAY I'm going to be alone
forever.
LIZ You are not going to
be--
RAY At the rate I'm
going, it's a definite possibility!
LIZ Ray--
RAY Look at me!
I'm just stumbling around, from one bad relationship to the next, while
everyone else is getting married. They're
all settling down, and I feel like I haven't even shaken up yet!
LIZ You're not making any
sense, Ray.
RAY You can say that
again.
LIZ Look.
I think it's a little to soon for you to be declaring yourself a hopeless
cause. This whole "finding the
right one" thing always happens when you least expect it, when you're not
looking so hard.
RAY I don't get that,
either. Every time I turn around,
someone is trying to sell me on the whole, "oh, it just takes time, it'll
hit you when you're not even thinking about it, just sit back and let it
happen." I don't buy that for
a second. Liz
pauses and stares at Ray.
LIZ You know what I
think? I think you don't want a
solution to this problem. I think a
sadistic little corner of yourself is enjoying this--going on bad dates,
constantly changing partners while the rest of us are with the same people year
after year, then complaining about how you really want to meet the perfect
woman, but you don't want to get married. Ray
stares at Liz in amazement.
RAY Wow...you're
completely wrong.
LIZ Oh, for Christ's
sake...
RAY I mean it, you are so
incredibly misdirected that it's just plain fascinating.
How did we get to be such good freinds when you have such a limited
understanding of me? |