Stranger
Than Paradise Nick Ellis BLACK FADE
UP ON: OZ PARK--DAY A
man in his mid-twenties walks through Oz Park.
It is the beginning of spring in Chicago, so while the trees are blooming
it is still cold enough that he needs a jacket.
He wanders aimlessly, obviously deep in thought.
RAY (VO) There's this Bob
Dylan song called "Don't Think Twice, it's All Right."
In it is the line, "I gave her my heart, but she wanted my
soul." Times like this I
understand what he's talking about. DISSOLVE
TO: INT:
Therapist's apartment--DAY This
is a nice looking downtown apartment, small but well decorated and with a nice
view of the skyline. At first, the
living room is empty of people. We
see a couch, end tables bookending the couch, and a chair set to the side. As
Ray's narration continues, the following action occurs: SALLY
enters the frame from the left side--she is an attractive, stylishly dressed
woman of about 25, blond hair impeccably done.
She wears a light brown pantsuit. Sally
sits down on the left side of the couch. RAY
follows, inching past Sally's outstretched legs and seating himself on the right
side of the couch. Ray is also
about 25, tall and neatly groomed, but with
notably less style than Sally. Ray
is wearing jeans and a plain shirt. The
THERAPIST then enters the frame from the left, and sits in the chair on the
side. She is a woman in her mid
forties, with short brown hair in a professional cut.
She is also wearing a light colored pantsuit--in fact, to look closely,
she is a perfect version of Sally, twenty years from now.
RAY (VO) I had been dating a
girl named Sally who decided that after the relationship hit the six month mark
it was time to take me in for some service.
This was our first and only session.
THERAPIST Okay.
Sally, Ray, I'm going to jump right into it here, so I hope you're ready
to talk. Sally
nods her head confidently, while Ray stares ahead.
THERAPIST Great.
Well, then, I guess the best place to start would be why you're here.
Usually that's a very successful way of getting the couple to talk about
their problems, and begin relating to each other.
Ray?
SALLY That won't be
necessary. I can pinpoint the
problem pretty accurately. Ray's a
moron.
THERAPIST Uh huh.
SALLY I mean, there's
really just nothing going on here. Sally
thumps Ray's head. Ray keeps
staring, used to this kind of treatment.
SALLY If he didn't have the
other head, I don't think he'd get any thinking done. The
Therapist bursts out laughing hysterically, then calms down when she notices
that Ray is not laughing.
THERAPIST I'm sorry...that's
really funny. Still
no response from Ray.
THERAPIST Okay, let's try some
role reversal. CUT
TO: Med. shot of Ray and Sally on
the couch, Sally has a goofy expression on her face and is talking in a
satirically low voice.
SALLY I'm Ray,
I'm an idiot, don't ask me, duh... CUT
TO: Same shot, now Sally has a hand
puppet and she is making the puppet talk into Ray's ear.
Ray also has a puppet, but it lies dormant on one of the hands he has
folded in his lap. Sally is talking
in a funny, squeaky voice with her puppet.
SALLY I don't like you!
You stupid! Nyahh! CUT
TO: Same shot, only now Sally has a
big foam club and is hitting Ray over the head repeatedly and with great
enthusiasm, grunting with every strike to emphasize her effort.
Ray remains in the same stoic state he has maintained all along. CUT
TO: Same shot, now Ray is hooked up
to electrodes and Sally has the trigger device.
SALLY My birthday is April
fourteenth! Sally
hits the trigger, and Ray flinches painfully.
When the shock is over, however, he returns to his stone face.
SALLY I like roses for
Valentine's day! Sally
hits the trigger again, and Ray flinches.
SALLY You must hold me
after sex! Sally
hits the trigger, and Ray flinches. CUT
TO: C/U of a credit card reader
swiping across a credit card and receipt. CUT
TO: Med. shot of the Therapist,
Sally, and Ray getting ready to leave. The
therapist is making the receipt with the card reader, and Sally is standing next
to her. Ray stands behind Sally, his demeanor unchanged.
The Therapist hands the credit card to Sally, who passes it back to Ray.
SALLY Doctor, this was very
helpful for Ray. I feel we dealt
with a lot of Ray's issues that were just kind of hiding beneath the surface.
THERAPIST I'm glad.
Although there still seems to be a lot of problems with Ray.
I'd recommend you bring him in again for some more work. Sally
snaps her hand around and swipes the credit card away from Ray, handing it over
again to the Therapist, who snaps it back into the reader and runs the bar back
and forth over the card. DISSOLVE
TO: INT.
RAY'S CAR: DAY Sally
and Ray are in Ray's car, on the way back from the therapist.
Sally tries to light a cigarette with the car's lighter, but it doesn't
work. She throws it out the window
and reaches into Ray's coat pocket for a lighter.
What's important here is that the action is performed as if Ray was a
purse or a desk drawer. Sally
lights her cigarette and takes a deep drag.
SALLY God, that was great.
And I think those eighteen sessions I scheduled for next month are going
to be a big help for you. Actually,
maybe we should start seeing her every day.
It would probably fix you a lot quicker.
I wonder if I could get one of those foam clubs for myself.
And I should call her and find out where she got that electric shock
thing, maybe there's like some kind of home version... As
Sally talks, her voice fades out and Ray's narration comes in.
RAY (VO) A lot of people have
a lot of good things to say about therapy.
As for me... CUT
TO: C/U of Ray's foot slamming on
the brake CUT
TO: Med. Shot of Ray's car coming
to a sharp stop. CUT
TO: INT. Ray's car, Sally reacting
to the stop and turning to face Ray.
SALLY What the hell was
that? What do you think you're
doing? CUT
TO: C/U of Ray's face, he turns to
Sally and smiles. CUT
TO: Back of Ray's car just as it
pulls away, pull back to bring Sally into the frame, standing on the side of the
road.
SALLY You son of a bitch!
I'm trying to help you! You
need me!
RAY (VO) I'd have to say that
it helped make a pretty tough decision much easier. MUSIC:
HARD ON THE KNEES CREDITS Credits
are intercut with a montage of Ray clearing Sally's stuff out of his
apartment--pictures, stuffed animals, pantyhose off the shower curtain,
"How To Control Your Man" books DISSOLVE
TO: INT.
Ray's apartment. Ray's
apartment is a two bedroom, fairly large apartment in a two-flat building.
Ray is in the kitchen, talking on the phone and standing next to the
counter. He is looking at a pile of
papers.
RAY Yeah, I'd like to
report a stolen credit card. (pause)
Well, I've been holding for--hello? Ray
sighs and examines the invoices from the psychiatrist's office. SFX:
DOOR OPENING & CLOSING Ray
does not react to the door, and speaks while looking at his forms.
RAY Hey, Phil. PHIL
enters the kitchen. He is taller
and thinner than Ray, with dark hair and eyes that seem to be constantly wide
open. Phil walks right up to Ray and stands a few inches away,
pulling his hair away from his eyes with one hand and sticking his forehead
close to Ray's face while pointing to his eyebrows with the other.
PHIL I'm losing my eyebrow
hair. A whole clump of it came out
in the shower this morning, I found it on my hand after I just ran my fingers
across my eyebrow. See this right
here? That's a bald spot.
A freaking eyebrow bald spot. That's
it, man. It's over. See?
right there. See? Ray
stares calmly at Phil, then perks up at a voice on the line.
RAY Hello?
Yeah, I've got to report a stolen credit card.
No, please don't put me on-- Ray
slumps a little, obviously on hold again. In
resignation, he hangs up the phone. He
turns and faces Phil, who is still waiting for Ray to examine his eyebrows.
RAY You know, Phil, I've
got absolutely no expertise on eyebrow hair loss.
PHIL Right there, man.
See? You can't miss it. Phil
goes to the oven and tries to see his reflection in the glass door.
RAY I broke up with Sally
today.
PHIL That's terrific.
I saw it coming a mile away. You're
gonna be much happier now. Do they
make like, eyebrow Rogaine?
RAY Phil-- Phil
turns and faces Ray.
PHIL I'm a little upset
about this, Ray!
RAY Well, I'm upset about
breaking up with my girlfriend!
PHIL Your girlfriend.
You know, women come and go, but when you lose that eyebrow hair, man,
you're talking freak for life! Ray
stares at Phil for a moment, as if he can't believe he's for real.
Finally he closes his eyes and shakes his head.
RAY I'm not having this
conversation. Ray
walks toward the door and puts on his coat.
PHIL Fine.
Abandon me in my hour of need. Leave
me here, a hideous hairless jackal! Ray
walks out the door and slams it shut behind him. CUT
TO: EXT:
Tom & Liz's House--Day Just
as we hear Ray's door slamming shut, we cut to the door of Tom and Liz's house
opening. Revealed behind the door is Liz, Ray's sister in law and old
friend. She is Ray's age, with dark
brown hair cut conservatively. She
is attractive in a comfortable way, dressed in casual clothes.
LIZ Ray!
Come on in! Liz
opens the door wide to let Ray in, and he enters the house.
RAY Hey, Liz.
The
two walk into the house after Liz shuts the door behind Ray.
LIZ What brings you by?
RAY Oh, just going a
little stir crazy. Where's that bum
brother of mine?
LIZ He should be home in
a minute.
RAY Probably out drinking
again, spending your nest egg on prostitutes.
LIZ Uh huh.
RAY What'd have to go and
marry him for, Liz? You were like
one of the guys, and now you've got this permanent tattoo that reads 'woman.'
Ruined everything.
LIZ Don't blame me, you
introduced us.
RAY Well, I didn't think
you'd fall in love with him. The
guy's such a bozo...
LIZ Oh, stop it.
You love your brother.
RAY Ahhh.... Ray
looks around the house as if he's examining a kind of suburban hell.
RAY And
you can't tell me the sex is good. There's
no way my brother is good in bed. While
Ray is talking, Liz shoots him a sly look.
RAY Aw, man... Liz
laughs.
RAY This is a nightmare.
LIZ Okay, Ray.
What's bothering you?
RAY Oh, nothing.
I'm just...you know...I just...
LIZ You just broke up
with Sally. Ray
looks around as if to make sure there's no signs with his thoughts printed on
them.
RAY How did you know
that?
LIZ Because every time
you break up with a girlfriend, you come over here and yell at me for marrying
your brother.
RAY Really?
LIZ Like clockwork.
I'm getting pretty good at figuring you out, Costello.
I should charge you for therapy.
RAY Yeah, well, get in
line. SFX:
DOOR OPENING AND SLAMMING SHUT
TOM (off screen) I see my freeloading,
no-good pain in the ass little brother's bike outside, that can only mean one
thing!
RAY Don't come in yet,
we're still naked. Tom
enters the room. Tom is in his late
twenties, and is dressed in a suit. He
is more neatly groomed than Ray, but the family resemblance betrays a sort of
roughness about him. He drops a
briefcase on the floor and crosses over to where Liz is standing.
TOM Well, I don't hear
any hysterical laughing, so that can't be the case. Tom
grabs Liz by the waist and pulls her close.
TOM Hey, baby. Tom
plants a dramatic kiss on Liz's neck, hamming it up in front of his brother.
Ray sighs unhappily.
LIZ Hi. Tom
lets go of Liz and straightens up, looking at Ray and then back to Liz.
TOM So what's the squirt
doing here? Raiding the fridge?
RAY Liz and I were
talking about those penile implants you've been considering.
TOM No, no, honey, you've
got it all wrong. Those are a gift
for Ray.
LIZ Ray broke up with
Sally.
TOM About time.
We got any beer? Tom
walks out of the room toward the kitchen.
RAY This is why I talk to
you about these things.
LIZ Have a doughnut and
sit down.
RAY I don't want
a-- Liz
shoots Ray a stern look. Ray sighs
and grabs a doughnut off the counter, taking a large bite.
LIZ Good. Ray
moves to an easy chair and sits down, Liz sits across from him on the couch.
LIZ Let's have it.
RAY All right, here's the
thing. In the past few years, I've
had a bunch of relationships. Some
of them were good, but for the most part they just never really should have
happened in the first place.
LIZ I'll go along with
that.
RAY And I always figured
that it was because I was always drifting from job to job, living day to day,
and I was never in the frame of mind to have a long term thing.
But things have been going well for me--I've got a well paying job, my
own place--everything's stable, and I still couldn't make it work with Sally.
LIZ I'm going to go out
on a limb here and say that that one wasn't really your fault.
RAY I'm going to be alone
forever.
LIZ You are not going to
be--
RAY At the rate I'm
going, it's a definite possibility!
LIZ Ray--
RAY Look at me!
I'm just stumbling around, from one bad relationship to the next, while
everyone else is getting married. They're
all settling down, and I feel like I haven't even shaken up yet!
LIZ You're not making any
sense, Ray.
RAY You can say that
again.
LIZ Look.
I think it's a little to soon for you to be declaring yourself a hopeless
cause. This whole "finding the
right one" thing always happens when you least expect it, when you're not
looking so hard.
RAY I don't get that,
either. Every time I turn around,
someone is trying to sell me on the whole, "oh, it just takes time, it'll
hit you when you're not even thinking about it, just sit back and let it
happen." I don't buy that for
a second. Liz
pauses and stares at Ray.
LIZ You know what I
think? I think you don't want a
solution to this problem. I think a
sadistic little corner of yourself is enjoying this--going on bad dates,
constantly changing partners while the rest of us are with the same people year
after year, then complaining about how you really want to meet the perfect
woman, but you don't want to get married. Ray
stares at Liz in amazement.
RAY Wow...you're
completely wrong.
LIZ Oh, for Christ's
sake...
RAY I mean it, you are so
incredibly misdirected that it's just plain fascinating.
How did we get to be such good freinds when you have such a limited
understanding of me?
LIZ All right, Ray, I
give up. Liz
stands up.
LIZ We go through this
every six months or so, nothing ever gets resolved, and I just end up getting
beat up on. Well, I'm done.
I'm not going to try to help you sort out your crazy love life anymore,
because I'm obviously the wrong person for the job.
You want this done right, why don't you ask someone who knows better?
Go see a shrink.
RAY I was just at-- Liz
takes a step toward the hallway, then turns to Ray again.
LIZ Better yet, go ask
your old girlfreinds what went wrong. I'm
sure they'd be more than happy to tell you all your faults. Liz
spins on her heel and storms out of the room.
Ray stands up, points a finger toward her and opens his mouth to retort,
but then stops as a realization hits him--this is not a bad idea.
After a beat, Liz pokes her head back into the room.
LIZ Don't...even...think
about it... CUT
TO: SUBURBAN
STREET--DAY Ray
rides a motorcycle along a rural two-lane road, into an expensive subdivision.
RAY(VO) I decided the first
stop would be Jasmine, basically because she lived the closest.
Jazz was my first serious girlfriend, and we didn't really date for that
long--just long enough for her to realize I wouldn't be making my first million
before hitting thirty...or fifty, or eighty for that matter.
She lived on the Gold Coast with her parents, who cleaned up in the early
eighties by starting asbestos removal services.
CUT
TO: Shot of Ray, Jasmine, and
Jasmine's father sitting down at dinner. It
is a silent scene, from about three years ago, with Ray looking a little younger
than we know him now.
RAY (VO) Her father offered me
a job once, but I declined. Ray
is saying the next line from narration to Jasmine's father.
RAY (VO) I told him I got
plenty of deadly fibers from breakfast cereal.
CUT
TO: Jasmine's father, staring at
Ray, unamused.
RAY(VO) He didn't laugh.
CUT
TO: EXT. JASMINE"S HOUSE Ray
pulls up the driveway to Jasmine's house and steps up to the front door,
stopping for a moment to compose himself--this is, after all, his first time
seeing her in a while--and finally knocking on the door.
A moment later, the door is opened enthusiastically by Jasmine, an
attractive woman in her early twenties. She
is impeccably dressed, thoughtfully trendy and chic.
Her hair and makeup are done and her nails are painted.
Her enthusiasm quickly fades when she sees Ray--she was expecting someone
else.
JAZZ Oh my God...
RAY Hey, Jazz, how you
doing? Jeez, you look great, can I
come in?
JAZZ You can not be
here. A
female voice from inside the house calls out to Jasmine.
VOICE (OS) Jasmine, darling, are
they here?
RAY Is that your mom?
Can I say hi? Jasmine
ignores Ray and calls back to the voice.
JAZZ No, mother!
She
turns back to Ray.
JAZZ You can not be
here, Ray.
RAY Who's they?
You having a party?
VOICE (OS) Well, who's at the
door, dear?
JAZZ Nobody important,
mother!
RAY Hey...
JAZZ Raymond Costello, if
you continue to stand in my doorway like this I'm going to find something heavy
and hit you...
RAY There's that spice I
miss; listen, I just need to ask you something. Why do you think it didn't work between us?
JAZZ You're poor.
Go away.
RAY I'm serious, Jazz--
VOICE(OS) Jasmine, darling, who
on earth are you talking to?
JAZZ I'll be done in a
second, mother! Jasmine
turns back to Ray.
JAZZ Raymond, I'm going to
hire someone to shoot you if you don't--
MALE VOICE (OS) Hello! Jazz
looks past Ray, and Ray turns around to see who is here.
JAZZ Oh, god. Three
people are walking up the driveway. The
first is a man in his late twenties, well-dressed and confident in the way he
holds himself. He is CHAD BECKWITH.
The second is Chad's father, a prestigious-looking man in his late
fifties. The last is Chad's mother,
elegantly dressed and a bit snobbish looking.
Chad steps past Ray to share the doorway with Jasmine.
CHAD Hi, sweetheart. Chad
plants a light kiss on Jasmine's cheek.
RAY Oh, now I get it... Jazz
steps in front of Ray to be introduced to Chad's parents.
CHAD Jasmine, this is my
mother and father. Mother, Father,
this is Jasmine.
MR. BECKWITH A pleasure.
MRS. BECKWITH Charmed, darling.
CHAD Who's this?
JASMINE Just Ray, ignore him.
CHAD Oh.
All right.
MR. BECKWITH Very good.
MRS. BECKWITH Fine, then.
JAZZ Come right in, my
mother is dying to meet all of you.
CHAD Thank you.
MR. BECKWITH Fine, then.
MRS. BECKWITH Very good. The
three file past Jasmine into the house.
JAZZ I'll be right behind
you. Jazz
closes the door quietly behind them and turns to Ray, grabbing him by the
collar.
JAZZ Raymond, that young
man is worth more money than a thousand of you put together.
Tonight, after dinner, he is going to ask my father for my hand in
marraige. It is the culmination of
several months of hard work and fake orgasms, and if your presence here has in
any way compromised this, I'm going to have your testicles made into earrings! Jasmine
walks off screen and into the house. Ray
stands frozen.
RAY (VO) Although Jazz hadn't
directly answered my question, the reason for our relationship's ending was
beginning to become very clear. DISSOLVE
TO: EXT
DINER--DAY Ray
pulls into a spot in front of a small diner.
Ray gets off the bike and enters the diner.
RAY (VO) After my disastrous
visit with Jasmine, I decided to stop and get a bite to eat before going on to
my next stop. It was right about
here that I discovered an integral part of any road trip-- CUT
TO INT
DINER--DAY Ray
is seated at a booth, looking through the menu.
A waitress approaches.
RAY(VO) Bad food at every
turn.
RAY How's the meatloaf?
WAITRESS Not good. Ray
looks up, surprised.
RAY Really?
WAITRESS Really.
RAY Uh...okay...the
chicken?
WAITRESS Wouldn't touch it
with a stick.
RAY Is that so.
How about the soup?
WAITRESS Don't get me started.
RAY Huh.
Well...uh...just a glass of water, I guess.
WAITRESS It's your funeral. The
waitress something down on her pad, taking far longer than just the word
"water" should take. Finally,
she spins on her heel and walks off. Ray
looks after her for a while, then stares down at the table.
RAY(VO) Needless to say, I
decided to skip lunch and go straight on to Lisa's. CUT
TO: HIGHWAY--DAY Ray
is driving along a highway.
RAY(VO) Now, keep in mind, I
wasn't going in chronological order. Lisa
was actually just before Sally-- CUT
TO: Still of Sally hitting Ray over
the head with the foam club who, if you'll
remember, I broke up with at the beginning of this whole thing.
CUT
TO: HIGHWAY My relationship with
Lisa was based strictly on sex--which, at the time, I thought was just fine.
Then, somewhere along the line I decided that there had to be more to
love than fifty ways to please your lover, and I ended it.
Lisa was more disappointed than sad, mainly because now she had to teach
someone else the 27 pressure points that made her really happy. CUT
TO: EXT
LISA'S APARTMENT BUILDING --DAY Ray
pulls up to Lisa's building and gets off the bike.
He walks into the building.
RAY(VO) We faltered from time
to time, falling into bed now and then, but that all ended when I met Sally.
It had been over six months since I had seen Lisa. CUT
TO: INT
LISA'S APT BUILDING--DAY Ray
approaches Lisa's door and knocks. A
moment later the door opens a crack, and through the chain latch we see Lisa's
face peering out. She is an
attractive woman in her mid-twenties, with black hair and extreme makeup. Her eyes widen at the sight of Ray.
LISA Yay! Lisa
shuts the door for a second, then throws it open again, unencumbered by the
chain latch. She grabs Ray by the
shirt and hauls him into the apartment. CUT
TO INT
LISA'S APT--DAY Lisa
drags Ray into the apartment, shutting the door behind him.
The apartment is modest but well-decorated, with tastefully suggestive
artwork on the walls and candles lit and scattered about. Immediately
Lisa begins tugging at Ray's belt, chattering away as she works.
Ray fumbles with her hands, trying to keep them from succeeding in their
mission.
LISA Good to see you, Ray,
been a long time, let's get these pants off, keep the shoes on--
RAY No--no, Lisa, wait.
That's not-- I actually came
here to-- Hold on, now-- Lisa, can we just talk for a minute? Lisa
stops and stares, stunned for a moment. Then
a look of sly understanding comes across her face.
LISA I get it...
You're the virgin schoolboy, I'm the substitute teacher... Ray
starts to object, then considers it, then objects again.
RAY No!
No...Lisa, listen. I really need to actually talk.
LISA Oh.
Well, that's a new one. I
was just going to make some hot chocolate, you want one? Lisa
turns and walks into the kitchen.
RAY Uh...sure.
Now, there's a whipped cream joke in there somewhere, but it's just not
materializing. As
Lisa laughs, we dissolve to: INT
LISA'S APARTMENT: DAY We
dissolve to a C/U of two empty mugs, crusted with the remains of hot chocolate.
As Ray speaks, we cut to a two shot of Ray and Lisa sitting facing each
other on the couch.
RAY So I guess I'm just
wondering what the problem is. I
mean, why do you think it didn't work between us?
LISA Ray, as far as I was
concerned, it did work. I mean, the
sex...
RAY Okay, but that was
mostly you...and the costumes...and that trapeze thing...but I always thought--
LISA You always thought
there should be more to it than that. I
know, Ray, you told me all this when we broke up. I don't have anything new to tell you. I thought things were fine the way they were, and you wanted
something more. I don't think
you're a bad guy because of it, you're just confused.
You don't know what you want. Ray
nods a bit at this, then is silent, obviously still bothered.
LISA Hey. Lisa
puts a finger under Ray's chin, and tilts his head toward her.
LISA I bet I can raise
your spirits. Ray
smiles, takes hold of her hand, and kisses it, standing up.
RAY Difficult as it is to
say no to you...
LISA Oh, you're no fun
anymore. Ray
laughs as Lisa stands up, and they walk to the door.
They stop in front of the door, and Lisa turns to Ray.
LISA You ever get lonesome
for the old times, you know where to find me. Ray
starts to answer as Lisa opens the door, but is distracted by a man in leather
laying across the doorstep like a dog would.
LISA Slave!
The
slave jumps up at the sound of Lisa's voice and clasps his hands in front of his
chest.
LISA How long have you
been there?!
SLAVE An hour, mistress.
LISA Silence!
I did not command you to speak! Get
in here, you disgust me. The
slave, head bowed, enters and kneels at Lisa's feet.
Lisa turns back to Ray.
LISA Domination's my new
thing. Take care, Ray.
Don't be a stranger. Ray
nods, and walks out the door. As he
exits...
LISA Lick my feet, you
filthy worm! The
door shuts behind Ray, and he walks out of the building, dazed.
RAY(VO) Now, don't get me
wrong--I'm all in favor of an imaginative sex life; but there's a line, and I
think Lisa slid across it on a stream of contraceptive lubricant. CUT
TO: INT
DINER--DAY Ray
sits at another diner booth, looking through the menu.
A waitress steps up and holds her pad so close to her face that we can't
see her mouth. Ray has not noticed
this, and begins to order.
RAY Hi, I'll have--
WAITRESS If you want to live,
listen very carefully. I'm going to
pretend I'm telling you the specials, you nod every now and then.
Got it? Good.
You are in the wrong place. Bad
things happen to food here. Down
the street there is a place called Bob's Burger's & Beef.
Stand up right now, get a table there, do not order the fish.
Here's your check, have a nice day. Ray
looks around, picks up the check, sighs, and resignedly pulls out a few bills.
RAY(VO) The next stop was
Batavia, where Kristen lived. I
figured it had to go better than my search for food had been going. CUT
TO: HIGHWAY Ray
rides along the highway.
RAY(VO) That was a toss up,
though. Kristen and I had a pretty
painful breakup. We dated after
Jasmine, and things actually went pretty well.
We started talking--just talking, remember--about getting married.
Then, something happened that threw a monkey wrench into the plan.
I met someone else. CUT
TO: KRISTEN'S
HOUSE Ray
pulls up the driveway of Kristen's house, a modest ranch.
Ray positions his bike so it faces away from the house.
RAY So the question of
the day was, after all this time, could she still be bitter?
I figured that by now she had to understand. CUT
TO: INT
KRISTEN'S HOUSE--DAY We
see a window to the outside, with a curtain over it.
KRISTEN comes into frame, and pulls back the curtain to see Ray parking
the bike.
KRISTEN Son of a bitch... Kristen
lets back the curtain, grabs a softball bat by the front door, and walks out of
the house. CUT
TO: EXT
KRISTEN'S HOUSE We
follow as Kristen walks out the front door and approaches Ray.
Ray still has his back to her as he is unstrapping his helmet. Without
hesitation, Kristen whacks Ray on the back of the helmet with the bat.
Ray cries out, more with surprise than pain, and falls sideways off the
bike.
KRISTEN How dare you!
How dare you show your face at my house!
RAY Jesus Christ, Kris! Ray
pulls the helmet off.
KRISTEN I would not
take that helmet off if I were you, Costello! Ray
stumbles to his feet, and drops the helmet.
RAY What are you, nuts?
KRISTEN Put the helmet back
on, Ray...
RAY Right.
Like you're really going to smack me with that thing.
KRISTEN You've got a lot of
nerve, coming here after what you did...
RAY And it was so
terrible that you've got to hit me with a bat.
Is that it, Kris? Tell you
what--if you really think I deserve it, then go on. Take your best shot. I've
got it coming, right? Ray
spreads his arms out and offers his chin for Kristen to hit.
Kristen pauses, simmering. Finally,
she throws the bat to the ground.
KRISTEN You son of a bitch. Ray
drops his arms and straightens out again.
RAY You can't do it, can
you? Face to face, you can't-- Ray
is interrupted by Kristen punching him in the face. CUT
TO-- INT
KRISTEN'S HOUSE--DAY Ray
sits at the kitchen counter, a bag of ice pressed against his eye.
Kristen comes into frame, sitting on the other side of the counter,
lighting a cigarette, and looking sideways at Ray.
KRISTEN So, how you been? Ray
glares at her.
KRISTEN I told you not to
take the helmet off. Ray is still silent,
stewing.
KRISTEN Course, you didn't
listen to me back then, I don't know what made me think you'd listen to me now.
RAY Kris, I'm not the bad
guy here. I fell in love with
someone else. I didn't mean for it
to happen, it just happened.
KRISTEN Oh, that's right.
It was an accident. You were
just wandering down the street, and accidentally asked someone out to dinner
about seven or eight times--
RAY It was like four or--
KRISTEN And then you accidentally
waited until I'm practically picking out bridesmaids dresses to tell me it's
over. Ray
is silent again, he has no defense against this--it's true.
KRISTEN How is the little
princess, anyway? Or did you screw
that one up, too? Ray
glares for a moment, then turns his gaze to the ground.
KRISTEN I knew it.
You're a real piece of work, Costello, you know that?
Have you noticed a trend here? Ray
does not respond.
KRISTEN Here, let me run
through it for you--you meet a girl, get along great, start to fall in love, and
then run like a sissy boy. Sound
about right? Ray
smiles a half smile that quickly fades. The
realization has hit him, and he seems beaten.
KRISTEN God.
You need help, Ray. You're
turning into a character from a Woody Allen movie. Ray
slowly gets to his feet.
RAY Always good to see
you, Kris. Ray
walks across the room to the front door. Kristen
watches him, suddenly sympathetic, perhaps surprised by her own viciousness.
KRISTEN Ray-- Ray
stops, and Kristen speaks as she crosses over to him.
KRISTEN You...you can't be
blamed...for falling in love. I can
accept that much, I guess. But it's
your own damned fault if you run away from it.
If you're going to throw away what we had for someone else, I'd at least
like to know that it meant something. Ray
looks away for a moment, considering this.
KRISTEN Did it? Ray
looks back at her.
RAY I guess I'm going to
have to find out. Kristen
smiles sadly, and kisses Ray on the cheek.
KRISTEN Take care of
yourself, Costello. Ray
smiles the same sad smile, nods, and walks out.
Kristen walks to the window and watches him get on the bike.
RAY(VO) Which left Alison.
The one I left Kristen for. The
one I'd been avoiding this whole day; the one that came closer to perfect than
any relationship I'd had. CUT
TO: HIGHWAY--DAY Ray
rides into the north side of the city.
RAY(VO) I could never really
explain why I did it. It went
against every piece of advice I'd peddled from everyone who would listen.
For her, it came out of nowhere--one minute everything was fine, the next
I was walking away. CUT
TO: EXT ALISON'S BUILDING Ray
pulls up to a vintage apartment building in Chicago.
RAY(VO) It hurt like hell
then, and to tell the truth it hurts right now. And the worst part is, I never knew why I did it.
CUT
TO: INT ALISON'S BUILDING Ray
stands outside the door to Alison's apartment as Alison opens the door.
RAY(VO) Until now. Alison
opens the door. She is an
attractive woman in her mid-twenties, with dark brown hair and blue eyes. She looks at Ray, amazed; he is the last person she expected
to see.
ALISON Ray!
RAY Hi, Ali.
ALISON I can't believe this!
How are you?
RAY Ah, fair.
You?
ALISON Oh, my god, what
happened to your eye?
RAY Long story.
Listen, you doing anything right now?
I need to talk.
ALISON I was...
I was just going to... Well,
no, nothing. You want to go for a walk?
RAY Yeah, that would be
good. CUT
TO: OZ PARK Ray
and Alison walk through the park.
ALISON So, they rule in
favor of the state. Two weeks
later, I get a phone call from the CEO of Eastman Kodak--he says any lawyer can
win a case against his house team, he wants working for him.
RAY Sold out to the man,
huh?
ALISON Hey, you would too,
for that kind of money.
RAY I don't even want to
know. Alison
laughs. The two sit down on a park bench. There is silence for a moment.
ALISON Is everything all
right, Ray? Ray
rubs his forehead as he responds.
RAY Yeah, I'm fine.
ALISON No, you're not.
RAY What?
ALISON You're not fine.
RAY What makes you say
that?
ALISON You always rub your
forehead when you lie. Ray
takes his hand off his forehead and grimaces.
ALISON What's on your mind,
Ray? Ray
takes a deep breath.
RAY Just...some...things,
you know? I-- Ray
glances back and forth for a moment, then finally settles his eyes on Alison as
he summons the nerve. He takes
another breath.
RAY Okay, here goes.
I just went through another breakup, and it got me thinking.
I was getting worried that I was just going through the same motions over
and over again. I started worrying
that it would never stop. So I
thought I'd go back-- Back to
relationships I'd had, to talk to my old girlfreinds and ask them what went
wrong. Alison
touches Ray's sore eye.
ALISON Uh huh.
And how is Kristen? Ray
smiles.
RAY Kristen actually
helped the most.
ALISON She knock some sense
into you?
RAY You could say that.
I realized that with my other relationships, there had been something
about the combination--something about both people--that didn't work.
Either she had different values, or I had different goals, or whatever.
There was always a problem.
ALISON Okay...
RAY But with you and me,
the only thing wrong was the time. I...I
got scared, I felt trapped, I-- I
ran like a sissy boy.
ALISON Ray--
RAY Wait, just let me
finish, let me get through this. It's
different now. I'm different
now, I'm not afraid anymore. I
realize now, more than I knew back then, how good we could be together--how much
I need you in my life. Ali... if
you could find it in your heart to forgive me, if you could give me another
chance, I promise you I will do everything I can to make it work. They
stare at each other for a moment, Ray hanging on Alison's answer.
Alison lowers her eyes to speak.
ALISON Ray... I'm engaged. Ray
visibly deflates with disappointment, and turns to face forward as Alison
continues.
ALISON I'm sorry.
I really am sorry. But I never thought you'd come back like this.
I worked so hard at getting over you, and when I did, I met someone.
And he's... Alison
sees how crushed Ray is, and stops.
ALISON You...don't want to
hear about the guy. Ray
shakes his head.
ALISON Are you going to be
okay? Ray
pauses for a moment, then turns to Alison and smiles weakly.
As he speaks, he rubs his forehead.
RAY Yeah.
Yeah, I'll be fine. Ray
notices his action, looks at his hand, and smiles at Alison.
ALISON I'd better go.
Lee's going to wonder where I am. Alison
stands up, looks at Ray for a moment, and leans over.
She kisses him gently on the sore eye.
ALISON Goodbye, Ray. Alison
turns and walks offscreen. MUSIC:
Don't Think Twice, It's Allright
RAY(VO) And that was that. DISSOLVE
TO: OZ PARK Ray
continues their walk through the park alone.
RAY(VO) I came here for
answers, and I got them. Only
they're not the answers I wanted to hear. So,
in spite of my new found wisdom, I'm back at square one.
I don't know--maybe that's just the way it's meant to turn out sometimes.
Maybe you get one chance, and if you miss it, you miss it, and you don't
get another. Ray
sits down on a park bench.
RAY(VO) Maybe some people go
through their lives and just never find anyone. Maybe for some people it's just not meant to be.
And maybe, just maybe-- MUSIC
OUT
RAY(VO) I'm one of those
people. As
Ray sits and ponders, an attractive blonde walks up and sits on the opposite end
of the bench. MUSIC:
MODERN LOVE Without
looking at the woman, Ray slowly slides a bit closer to her on the bench.
He looks at the camera and smiles. CUT
TO: BLACK CREDITS Sally
went back to Ray's apartment to pick up her things....
And fell in love with Phil, who doesn't mind therapy at all. Jasmine's
new husband lost his entire fortune in a New Orleans card game.
They now run a successful Velvet Elvis Painting roadside stand. Lisa
hosts her own radio advice show for the lovelorn --Pan
down to show Slave curled up at her feet, sleeping Kristen
was voted MVP of her softball team three years in a row. Alison Ray
is still confused... Show
Ray talking to a girl at dinner, another girl walks by and Ray follows her with
his eyes. His date grabs him by the
chin and tilts his head back toward her. But
getting there.
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